Diamond Mike Watson

“Ping Ping!”

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“Treeet. Treeet.” A songbird chirped happily outside my window. I turned to admire the colorfully breasted creature sip the water from the garden fountain. I love mornings.

“Ping ping.” The single serving coffeemaker chimed that the aromatic brew was ready. It was the last serving until my wife would buy more. The sun beamed a golden ray that illuminated the kitchen.

“Mmeeep. mmeeep. mmeeep.” The microwave had finished warming my cream. I mixed the two hot liquids into a cup, along with a heaping dash of sugar, and slowly slouched into the fluffy chair. The first sip is always the best. I admired the steam that floated upwards. Coffee has always been a good friend. We have never argued with one another, and always tried to help the other become better. Many great ideas have been sparked from the relaxing introspection it has brought me.  I gave silent thanks, then pulled the cup towards my lips in anticipation.

“Kerchinng!” The toaster nearly ejected the two slices of bread I had plopped into its chamber moments earlier. I never drink coffee without toast, at least on Sunday mornings. I set the cup on the nearby table and returned to the kitchen.

“Irrrrk!” The smoke alarm pierced a warning signal. Someone must have set the toaster dial too high. I thought I smelled something burning. Sure enough, the toast was black on one side. I waved a towel underneath the detector to dissipate any wandering smoke.

I scraped off the blackened crust, buttered the golden side, then cut the squares into triangles. After arranging them neatly onto a saucer, I brought them back to my favorite chair and sunk deep into its cushions.

Like one chugs a quart of oil into a thirsty automobile, I grasped the cup with both hands to spill the liquid down my throat. Drinking quickly would be better than not drinking at all. The cup had since cooled and the steam had disappeared.

“Irrk.” The darn smoke detector always squawked several times after the show was over. If I did not change batteries soon, it would haunt me forever.

I opened my mouth wide. The temperature of the creamy brown liquid had dropped to lukewarm. I would not miss this moment I had been awaiting. At least I could gulp it without burning my throat. Nothing would stop me from enjoying the sweet and inevitable caffeine rush that would so completely arouse my senses.

“Bee dong!,” my phone chimed. “Nee Ning!” A different alert on my ipad rang.

“Honk honk!” My wife pulled into the driveway from her morning grocery shopping. Two honks signaled she needed help. If I didn’t jump immediately she would get irritable.

I ambled once again from the chair, took one last glance at the liquid, then poured it down the sink. At least my wife had coffee on her shopping list.

“I’ll be right there, honey.” I yelled from the door.

You may have to go back to the store,” she cried from her opened window. “I forgot to get coffee.”

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