When Words Cast Shadows

When Words Cast Shadows

I had an uncle who had special needs. I remember him as kind, quiet, and one who hardly spoke unless spoken to. As a child, his siblings loved to joke with him. After a tree was planted in their garden, his siblings once told him, “Bill, do you see that tree in the corner of the yard?  When it grows large enough to shade your grave, that is when you will die.”  That expression was used as humor in those days.

As Uncle Bill aged, he came to live with my family to take care of him. In less than a year, he got pneumonia and went to the hospital. He told my mother about the tree that still stood in the garden of his old home.  He asked her if the tree, which had since grown into a majestic oak, was now large enough to shade his grave.  My mother was surprised to realize that Uncle Bill remembered how his siblings teased him about that so many years ago. She reassured him that it was just a silly expression and there was no connection with the age of any tree and the time anyone would die.

The next day, Uncle Bill died.  It was eerie to think that, during his entire life, Uncle Bill would fearfully measure the distance the shadow of the tree would cast. Since he never spoke much, it is possible that every day, as he would pass that tree, it would not bring joy, but rather the anxiety of a countdown in the years he had left to live.

The idea is that we must be careful with our words. If used with good intentions,  they can uplift, enlighten, and console us. When spoken without care, even in jest, words can leave wounds that time may never fully erase.