The Amulet

The fear of the adventure almost became too great for me.   Mom was not prepared when I told her my decision.  I really do not think she could understand why anyone would want to seek answers to such questions if they had wonderful adoptive parents.

I decided that maybe a personal letter would be a good solution.  After much thought I wrote:

Dear Mom,

I know how you feel when I ask questions about being adopted.   I’m not searching for new parents.  I just need to know where I came from.  I’ve never met anybody who has even looked like me, and sometimes I feel strange.

I know you told me that it is the people who raise you who are your real parents, and you have cared for me more than any mother I have ever known. I just want to know the truth.

I’m driving to Indianapolis.  If I find my birthmother, please don’t think that I’ll forget about you.   I know you are my mother.

I love you.

The next morning I placed the note face up on the kitchen table and left at dawn.  The day before I had purchased a gold-plated necklace from a gift shop.  It would be a token for my birthmother and symbolize that I did not have hard feelings.  After all, she had given me the gift of life.  The abstract amulet had two graceful curves, representing her and myself.   The larger curve seemed to “give birth” to the smaller one, which met each other at the bottom.  If she didn’t want any further contact, then she could still keep the necklace as a reminder that I am a part of her.

From In Search of Mom – Journey of an Adoptee ©1998, and  Adopted Like Me- Chosen to Search for a Birthmother by Michael C. Watson.  ©2005.